Wouldacoulda

It may have changed

It may have stopped

The penny may have finally dropped

It may have been

It may have not

I may have had another shot

Slipping in regrets

A wily barracuda

Whispering in gleeful sets

Yashouldawouldacoulda

Paradigm shifts

Pink lenses cloud my vision

As if all the shit on earth is rosy

And somehow camouflaged

By cheap plastic frames and a two-bit glue job. 

Take them off? The cheek!

To see the world for all it's gore

To see your colours true unfold?

I'm too naive, to weak. 

Rather let me see through fuchsia fantasy

View your malice with a hue of blush

It may hurt more this way

But dear lord what's the rush. 

Dereligious

I believe in things that are strange
And things that are interesting
Just to have things to believe.
Little things seem to be directing
digging, and nesting
Missing the forest for leaves.

I met a man who wasn't there

He wasn't there upon the stair
Not yesterday, or before.
He wasn't there when I looked today.
I don't think I shall look some more.

The man, that one, upon the stair,
Is not the one you're feeling for.
Your vision isn't being fair.
Feel for, look for more.

Bees

The sun beams on smiles below

A lot of bees

They're not mine

You can take some if you want

They like lavender coloured flowers

They're always there

Working

I always see them

Not working

I would like to be a bee

Have a bee's ability

Give my life for my cause

And leave my victim feeling guilty. 

Boredom

Worse still than watching pots

Watching clocks.

They never boil.

It ticks and ticks

It never tocks

Worse still than than watching clocks

Watching cursors.

They never stop.

They blink and blink.

I'm still blank. 

Conversing

Collecting conference 

Dissecting deliveries, decisions, depth

Rhapsodising, Reassuring

Running my mouth

Make it stop I think you think. Or don't. 

Move closer

Breathe Deeper

A single breath between the flow 

A single moment of silence

Soliloquy

Effervescent theorems erupt again

You say I say we say the same

I say you say we say the same

Stay the same

Stay this way.

Move closer.

Breath is shallower now. 

Stolen gasps between slips of tongues 

This is the difference. 

Jessica

little one

ball of clay

eyes opalescent

toy hands grasping for a world

you cannot understand

little one

ball of clay

too soon you'll grow

ruined by comprehension

little one

ball of clay

promise of a morning

just give me one more day

little one

ball of clay

stay this way

Truth

I laugh at you sometimes to hide
the sad truth that I keep inside:
That all you are and will always be
is a person far to good for me. 
It's true


I laugh at all your silly words
and tell you they are for the birds,
When really I can't fathom how
you're mind is mine at least for now
It's true


I laugh at how you love me so,
and mean yes when I tell you no
When you ask if I'll be true
and if I will always love you
I do.


I laugh at my own selfishness
for keeping you under duress
You deserve to lovingly
be loving someone more than me
It's true. 


I treasure every moment I
hold you captive by my side,
And hope that my trickery
will keep you here wanting me
You know I can't deny
that every time I close my eyes 
I see you.

Broken Glass in the Gutter

You perplexed me as I set afoot
Upon the pavement you sailed past.
I heard your eerie wails and giggles,
Unseen boat without a mast.

I start, I wonder what you are,
Coming nearer, are you really there?
Your laughter chills and still delights me
Your beauty lies in your disrepair.

What a largess to have been there,
A sound so recherche,
A moment only we will share,
A tribute only I can pay.

Pentultimatum

If determination be at my discretion

And all is as I choose it be

How will I know the best direction?

Foresight: a boon unknown to me.

I'll take it on consideration,

Revoke my rights to determination,

Break the bonds of my own damnation,

Free myself from indecision's stagnation.

But if it all be fate's decision,

And choice is but a false fancy,

Can I live with such derision?

Is this all I am meant to be?

I'll question Moira's cunning ways,

Fight her paths and hope to stray,

Curse my kismet every day,

While bitterly life would waste away.

Best it be then kept unknown,

Is this path written or my own...

Tidings to Temporality

Quixotic question of existence,

You beguile with binds of power unknown.

Unending plague of perpetual persistence,

To deny your omnipotence is to die alone.

To fight you would be a fallacy,

For your reach is beyond your creator's grasp.

Imaginary foe of human fancy,

holding human life in inhumane grasp.

So cruel and yet forgiving,

With tides and moons to measure,

Taking chances with no hope of reliving

yet trading pain for eventual pleasure.

For all your malice but one virtue,

Without your promise of expiration,

The gift of life would be untrue,

instead a death of procrastination.

New beginnings

I'm starting a new blog after a 4 year respite. I've had some inspiration to start writing and I'm hoping this will inspire me to do so.

If you happen across this blog, I apologise for wasting your time, as these are the musings of a madwoman who just happens to be a tad sesquipedalian at times.